Limits

A question that you constantly meet in the BDSM world is this: What are your limits. You are meant to answer with a number of code words which will tell your opposite what you are not willing to do. Implying of course that whatever you have not specified as a limit is something the dominant is free to do to you.

I have never been able to answer that in the supposed fashion. What should I say? scat, kids, blood but otherwise go ahead?

I sometimes say: I will not do anything that is likely to land me in either hospital or prison!

Still that doesn't really mean that whatever else you do is OK, does it?

When two people get together in our world to play a very pre-defined game that an SM session is, it has something in common with any "vanilla" sexual encounter people have:

If you don't know each other you have to talk and to slowly explore each other. Get to now each other. Read each others reactions, find out how to adjust to each other. Talk. Ask. Tell.

You may think it is all about an exchange of power, but it never is.

It is like life always is: The roles may be defined in advance, but you still have to adapt to each other and find all the subtle little ways of showing and reading each other.

That is why subtlety, refinement and sensitivity makes for good lovers, no matter what form the encounters take.