Being somebody's permanent slave?

Would it be possible?

I assume I share a lot of fantasies and dreams with other subs. One of those dreams is to be a permanent slave. A 24/7/365 slave!

There are some of my friends whom I see more or less on a regular basis who I could easily submit to, and start a process of wiping out my ego (I sound like a budhist) and becoming that elusive creature: the perfect odalisque.

This dream is one that at times is overwhelmingly strong, at other times it just seems utterly unrealistic. So what to do?

I have to admit to a certain feeling of emptiness with my present life. Being popular is nice, but having booked every weekend and school holiday from now until may next year is surrealistic. I just can't continue, I have to find a solution.

So is total slavery realistic?

What would it require?

Some sort of guarantee that if my owner got tired of me when my breasts sag too much, my skin is not so fresh and my hair starts to go grey, I would still be taken care of. Money-wise I mean. I would need some arrangement. A legal contract of some kind, naming me an employee of some kind perhaps?

So the first thing it would require is an owner who is if not rich, at least well-off.

Marriage? At least in countries like the US, a possible divorce would leave me with a sufficient guarantee, provided the husband is sufficiently well off.
The problem is that marriage feels wrong if I am going to be a real slave.

Then, is it really realistic that I could live ALL the time with a very limited set of stimuli? No owner would truly want to tend to me, use me, play with me all the time. There will be hours and hours I would have to spend doing other things. What things would that be?

I dream about it, but I suspect it will remain a dream.

What then?

There is no doubt that my present life is not sustainable over time. Sooner or later (probably sooner) changes will have to be made. So what to do? How to live? What to look for?

Enforced chastity, orgasm control. I hate it!

First of all it never works on me. I come to easily. I tend more and more to sort out dominants who uses this a s a dominating technique.

I also think it's a counter-productive technique if the dominant's desire is to grow and nurture the sense and depth of submission in me.
It calls mostly for a gigantic mobilization of will-power for me to postpone an orgasm that wants to happen.
It becomes a tool to train will-power in me!
Where is the sense in that?

For me it is much more a re-inforcement of my objectification, my submissiveness, to constantly being brought to orgasm through the will and manipulation of my dominant. The orgasm just becomes a result of my dominant's action and is divorced from my own control. To hold it back re-inforces MY control, because it is ultimately I who have to control it.

I would like to hear from Dominants about this. What pleasure do you get out of it? Why do you think it is a productive technique?

Please, tell me!

I feel I owe my readers to give a summary of my "great american tour of 2010". I already posted a short description from my first meeting with a wonderful, single domme in New York.

From there I went south to North Carolina and had a not very great time with a somewhat confused man who actually got to whip a woman for the first time in his life. It's not the first time this has happenend to me and I still find it quite strange. Some men are able to write with a degree of sophistication and knowledge which clearly is founded on extensive reading of internet sites and books. Unfortunately the first time a woman meets one of them it becomes embarrassingly obvious that she is dealing with a neophyte who knows the theory but just doesn't have the manner and self-confidence of the experienced man.
He was a harmless man, but rather pathetic and I left after one day.

I got in touch with my Florida date hoping I could come there a little early, and it suddenly turned out I couldn't come there at all. It appeared that the female part of the couple had never been informed of the invitation at all, it clearly was not her I had spoken to on the phone after all and the man was terribly embarrassed and tried to cover it all by being rather abusive on the phone. So there I was, a full week before I was meeting my old friends in Chicago, and they were away so going there early was not an option.

It ended up with going back to New York and spending yet one more week as a devoted slavegirl to a mistress who is fast becoming one of my particular loves.

Then Chicago - all I can say is again, Thank You both, and yes I will be back sometime and I know Theo sent you an invitation and please, please do think about it.

The last visit was to a small town in northern California, so small that I shouldn't really name it because my Master there likes his anonymity. He had a place just outside town where I have spent a week in harness, for the first time really being a ponygirl. It took quite some time learning to pull that sulky when blindfolded, just being steered by the reins to the bit in my mouth. I got quite good at it I feel, but god - northern California summers are really quite cold!

I will skip the next week which was spent with my father and his wife and kids. It was nice but I was happy when I got onto that plane to New York again. This time to meet Theo, who had decided to pick me up there.

Four days in a luxury hotel. Great restaurants. Jazzclubs, comedy club and then a quick flight to Paris, TGV to Montpellier and now I am back, naked under the loggia on Theo's terrace.

Life is good!

Some people should be grateful that I am too polite to actually post their names on my blog!

Remote control. WOW.

First she put this egglike,metal,thing up my pussy. Then, a light leather harness with a crotch strap keeping it in. It also squeezes my breasts at the base and make them fill with blood and stand out in the most provocative fashion. Then t-shirt and cut offs so tight and short it is bound to draw a lot of eyes.

Then out to view the Macy's fourth of july fireworks.

Among a few million others. It seems they're all aware of me.

She starts to zap me - bzzzz, and my belly and cunt contracts and twitches and burns.

I perform a litle dance. I try to look like i'm just ecstatic about the fireworks.

It's incredibly warm. I sweat, my t-shirt gets warm - and wet - and translucent.

What a sight i must be.

Woman and submission - is it nature?

Sometimes it feels like its in my nature. When I kneel before a man, undress before him, lie back and spread my legs to ease his access to me, when I take his cock into my mouth, when He penetrates Me, it all feels like it is a given, natural interplay between the sexes that we act out again and again. I constantly perform these acts which as natural symbols all say the same thing: I am the passive recipient, I am the penetratetee so to say, I am the submissive.

And mind you, this is just in regular vanilla sexplay. Variations of the kind that is played out by the great majority of men and women everywhere in the world.

When the physical construction of men and womens bodies means that sexual acts are performed in a way so loaded with symbolism, it seems reasonable to ask the question: Are women by nature submissive to men?

Has this eternal division of the sexes between the taker and the taken, had the consequence that women are at least more predisposed towards submissive feelings?

Everywhere else in nature males fight each other over the right to mate with the female who submits to the winner. Is the human being the only animal that is different?

I do absolutely agree with those who say that you can find individual women (and men) who seem to disprove the assertion that women are submissive, but does individual cases tell you anything other than the obvious: there are always variations in behaviour! In all animals!

The perhaps proper way to put it is: Is there a greater disposition for submission in females than in males?

My answer is yes. And i am perfectly happy with that.

What's your answer?

Some games and a certain lack of patience

The first year working is coming to an end.
Summer vacation starting in a week.

Four visits for three new dom/dommes, and one couple who're old friends by now is waiting for me in the states.

Then a family visit

And then reunited with my dear uncle Theo.

Hopefully I have been a clever girl and found people who are genuine, knowledgable and have that attitude which ignites the fire in my belly.

My last encounter of the season was this weekend with my danish daddy. For a weekend I have worn diapers, forgotten all lessons from my potty training, made funny noises, smiled a lot, put all sorts of things into my mouth, and never lost close contact with the floor! Only times off the floor was on my back on the table, being washed and powdered and fiddled and gotten fresh diapers on. A few unbaby like things was part of the fun, but somehow that was fun too.

Its strange with plays like this. I can do them, and I do them well. I enjoy them, but actually friday to sunday gets to be a bit much. I tire of this game faster than I do of others.

I arrived friday evening and was prepared for the baby mode and put to bed with some partly un-baby-like rituals, and so good fine. The next day was long thou and sunday morning I was tired of it. We broke off early, went into town and had lunch and some nice conversation while we waited for my plane to leave. We agreed to do it shorter next time.

I wonder why I love this play so much, and yet tire of it so fast?

Summer and the fire in my belly

Finally summer arrived in the frozen north. And it has really been an extraordinary cold winter, and the cold lasted thru may.

But then, finally the sun came with warmth and the fantastic light. I've been here for almost 8 years now, and I have gone totally native.

Like the others I put on the least clothes I can get away with and spend as much time outside in the sun that I can manage. I love to sit outside on a sidewalk café with a beer just soaking up the sounds and smells and sights of the northern summer.

All my longing for my native south cal climate disappears with the cold.

Many people here think southern California have no seasons at all. I have tried to explain to them many times that we do, native californians have no trouble keeping the seasons apart. But living here you come to understand that the change of season can be monumental and represent a change between arctic and equtorial weather in the space of a day. (well, almost)

Then there is that special effect of the summers arrival.
The ants.
Not the ones in nature, but the colony that suddenly has established itself in my lower belly.
The ones that make my cunt so wet at inapropriate times, so that I have to break my habit of not wearing panties in case people will notice the drip.

There is a strange thing about this particular horniness. I do not long for my usual solutions as much. I don't look for wild SM sex. (well, at least not as much).

What really satisfies me at this time is tender, soft, lingering, affectinate vanilla girlsex. Slowly rubbing cunts with a close girlfriend.

Clean sheets on the bed. A bottle of cold white petite Chablis in a cooler on the nightstand, a naked girl with a friendly smile in my bed.

I challenge anyone to come up with a more pleasant scenario